“When I Was Your Man”… I Shouldn’t Have Been an Idiot
Never date an artist because when they use their talent to apologise for their mistakes, they get away with murder! That’s exactly what Bruno Mars did when he sat at the piano, confessed his sins, and misled the fans with a heartfelt apology (mis)titled “When I Was Your Man”.
Artist – BRUNO MARS
Capital Sin – Sheer Stupidity
Song – “When I Was Your Man” (2012)
Confession: To be entirely honest, this post was about to be an attack on Bruno Mars. But after learning the lyrics were inspired by a real relationship on the rocks, I didn’t have the heart to proceed with the scathing review I had in mind. Therefore, I call your attention to the fact that everything you’re about to read is a moderate version of what I initially intended to say. Please bear that in mind whenever you think I’m being too harsh. Bruno Mars deserves every single word because he managed to get away with murder!
Well, with the confession out of the way, the knives are out. No need to worry, though: I promise to be gentle.
I had planned to write this post long before Miley Cyrus released her “Flowers” but postponed it. However, when I listened to her song, my mind got triggered all over again. For context, Miley Cyrus’ “Flowers” has an apparent connection with Bruno Mars’ “When I Was Your Man”: the lyrics from the former seem to be a response to the latter, as you can see below. I find it marvellous that Miley Cyrus feels empowered to do everything she mentions in her song, by herself and for herself. But that’s beside the point. Let’s focus on Bruno Mars’ lyrics instead.
Story Time
It was the summer of 2020. On a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon, in between lockdowns, I stepped out of the house for a bicycle ride. I love those bright, warm, long summer days that offer a world of possibilities and free, pure happiness. I went straight to the park nearby, where I had plenty of space to ride without compromising social distancing. Do you remember those days?
I felt fantastic and could see everybody was equally cheerful about being outside. Looking back, we’re so oblivious to what was yet to come… Sometimes, ignorance can truly be bliss. And it was that day! The feeling of riding close to nature with great music playing in my ears, though in the middle of a pandemic, was just amazing.
As I return home, Bruno Mars’ “When I Was Your Man” starts playing. I was happily singing along, and my heart was empathising with all his emotions when it suddenly hit me: “Wait a minute… What is he saying?” [insert glass-shattering sound]. “Am I understanding correctly? Is Bruno Mars all remorseful and apologetic about NOT doing the bare minimum? Was this a relationship or a situationship?
I felt confused, deceived and slightly ashamed for failing to see through the deception. As it turned out, the song’s title was incomplete: “When I Was Your Man”… I Shouldn’t Have Been an Idiot!
Let’s play Pick Your Sin! Bruno Mars chose stupidity… and brazenness
I recently wrote that taking Love for granted is perhaps the gravest mistake we’re bound to make in our lifetime and for which we’ll pay dearly. Bruno Mars’ “When I Was Your Man” just proves me… wrong. Mind you, the statement is true for most people. However, music artists seem to be the exception that proves the rule.
Their immense talent shields them from the most severe repercussions of their actions. I’m not saying they don’t experience life like any other mortal, privately. Yet, publicly, the unwritten rules on love and relationships don’t equally apply. That would explain why I didn’t question the lyrics of “When I Was Your Man” for so many years.
Unorthodox Jukebox
The title of this blog post pretty much summarises my thoughts on Bruno Mars’ fifth number-one hit on the Billboard Hot 100. By the way, “When I Was You Man” was also the second chart-topper in the history of Billboard to feature only vocals and piano. The first one was Adele’s “Someone Like You” and see how the world cried over it!
A piano ballad is a shot to the heart, and a music artist with a brilliant voice knows it perfectly well. Therefore, if Bruno Mars’ principal aim was to make atonement, he surely used the most potent weapon in the music arsenal: emotional vocals and a piano keyboard.
However, “When I Was Your Man” was not the only song from Mars’ sophomore album to reach number one. Unorthodox Jukebox also includes the Police-inspired “Locked Out of Heaven”. Such an energising track! It’s also a different Bruno Mars from “When I Was You Man”. While, in the former, he can’t contain his excitement and is feeling blessed for the marvellous sex he’s having, in the latter, he expiates his sins for having been… an idiot. So, it was a situationship after all, right?
Unorthodox Jukebox is an intriguing title for a music album, but it’s a fitting choice for this one. Bruno Mars enjoys the freedom to explore different music genres and has fun with it. I wasn’t expecting, for example, a reggae track (“Show Me”), but Bruno also goes there. Then again, reggae is historically popular in Hawaii, where he was born.
That’s So Brazen
What indeed surprised me was the brazenness of the lyrics. Before I started writing this post, I listened to the whole album a couple of times and couldn’t believe the sudden shift: Bruno Mars went from declaring he would catch a grenade for someone, on his first album, to taking a walk on the wild side, on the second.
On Unorthodox Jukebox, he sings about having gorilla-heavenly sex (“Gorilla” and “Locked Out of Heaven”), sees “young, wild girls” as an irresistible and dangerous temptation (“Young Girls”), and even finds time to complain about an alleged gold-digger (“Natalie”), after regretting profoundly on the piano his past behaviour (“When I Was Your Man”). I feel a touch of toxicity in the air… Or, perhaps, it’s just Bruno Mars’ version of sex, drugs and rock and roll. But I don’t fault him for that: Unorthodox Jukebox is entertaining and skilfully produced and performed.
Nevertheless, I can’t help but wonder how a song like “Gorilla” would sound in a more seductive voice, let’s say of… Prince. I understand it might not be a fair comparison but… do you know what I mean? Bruno Mars has too much romance in his voice to bring about the full intended effect. In other words, Bruno Mars’ voice does not match his sins. He may sing about sexual prowess and a prolific sex life, but he doesn’t come across as a credible philanderer.
The romantic lover vs the ruinous lover
To be clear, I’m not saying Bruno Mars’ voice is not sexy. It’s just… too sweet and friendly to be sinful. I see Bruno Mars as the romantic lover, not the ruinous lover. He might be both, but he sure comes across as the first in his voice. And that’s is not a flaw or shortcoming! It’s just what it is.
I know this much: if Bruno Mars sang to me, I would be instantly delighted and amazed by his exceptional singing ability. I wouldn’t, however, get that instinctive feeling of being in trouble. For example, Marvin Gaye would’ve had me at “I Want You”. Talk about getting away with murder with a full album!
In sum, what Bruno Mars lacks in sexual charisma, he makes up for in emotional honesty and rawness. Therefore, his benign charm is not to be underestimated. Like all talented artists, he can wreak havoc on music fans’ hearts and confuse our minds. And that’s exactly what he did with “When I Was Your Man”.
“When I Was Your Man”… I Behaved Like an Idiot
“(…) I should’ve bought you flowers/And held your hand/Should’ve gave you all my hours/When I had the chance/Take you to every party/ ‘Cause all you wanted to do was dance/Now my baby’s dancing/But she’s dancing with another man.”
The fact that “baby” is now dancing with another man should be the least of the worries of the person who wrote these lyrics. “Bruno Mars, what were you thinking?”, was the question that sprang to mind that Sunday afternoon when it finally dawned on me what he was singing. Again, he shows guilt, regret, and remorse for NOT doing the bare minimum! Or did he think that “making love like gorillas” (Gorilla) was enough to keep the spark alive? Look who ended up banging on his own chest asking for forgiveness!
Moreover, does Bruno realise how painful and triggering the words “should have” are after the fact? It turns out he knew all along what would make his partner happy and chose NOT to do it. Why? Because he was “too young, too dumb to realise” (his words, not mine) the little effort he had to put in to make things work. And it shouldn’t be an effort at all, to be honest. The list of his ‘misdeeds’ is actually ridiculous, and that’s probably the most aggravating part!
Nevertheless, I’d like to compliment Bruno Mars for a very well-structured and heartfelt contrition containing all the key elements:
- The confession of his sins;
- An explanation (albeit poor) as to why he committed them;
- A passionate yet reasonable delivery;
- And a certain humility in not expecting guaranteed forgiveness.
Ultimately, he hopes the next lover offers “baby” all his young and dumb brain refused to do. These words might sound caring, but they’re another slap in the face, especially if “baby” is still in love with him. ‘I hope he loves you the way I was incapable of’: comforting, insulting, or cruel? Share your thoughts in the comments.
If you didn’t know, now you know: you’ve been bamboozled!
Despite everything I’m saying, “When I Was Your Man” doesn’t immediately arouse the feelings of bewilderment, frustration, and disbelief expressed above. The song is just lovely, and Bruno Mars’ repentance sounds utterly sincere. And that’s how he tricked us, the fans, all the way to the top of the charts. If you didn’t know, now you know: you’ve been bamboozled (for many years, in my case!).
“I was wrong!”, he cries out as if to attempt to clear the pain out of his chest… You know what? That’s not good enough! But isn’t it, though? Let’s be honest, if Bruno Mars’ emotional musical apology is not enough, no man stands a chance! See, this is why artists are Undateables, and you should stay away from them. Never Date an Artist because if they use their talent to apologise for their mistakes, your heart will find forgiveness faster than your head. Then, you’re prepared to throw good judgement out the window!
‘How I got away with double murder’… “When I Was Your Man”
Like the great artist he is, Bruno Mars got the forgiveness he was looking for. The singer revealed to Rolling Stone that “When I Was Your Man” was about his girlfriend at the time, whom he thought was about to leave him. Talk about a robust pre-emptive action! Well, that didn’t happen, and they’re still together to date. That means Bruno Mars managed to get away with double murder: he kept his relationship alive and the music fans happy with a beautiful ballad about his (clearly) avoidable mistakes. Hats off to you, Bruno!
In sum, what does “When I Was you Man” teach us? You ought not to sin by behaving like an idiot. If you do, you shall confess, repent, apologise for your faults, and face the consequences of your actions. If you’re a music artist, you may skip the last part. Sit, instead, at the piano, work your magic, and let your fans empathise with your pain without giving any thought to what you’ve done. Besides forgiveness, they’ll reward your honesty and stupidity with a chart-topping position.
Now, I’d like to hear from you!
Bruno Mars almost ruined his relationship, but the truth is that everybody makes mistakes. So, confession time: which song would you pick to describe a blunder you made in the past? Share it below in the comments.
Carla Vicente
Music and sun lover. I live for good weather, food, beauty, inspiration, and deciphering the complexity of human relations. Unharnessed creativity is a blessing, and I'm deeply grateful for mine. My world is made of innumerable words in different languages, with multiple figures of speech. Subtlety is an art form. Directness... a work in progress. Silence: the space where loud and creative thoughts gain shape and prosper.