Get “In[to] My Bed”… and Get Out!

Never date an artist, for they will transform ruthless honesty into art, pierce your heart and kick you out of their bed. Frank is the name of the album and a trait that transpires in Amy Winehouse’s songs, especially in “In My Bed”.

Artist – AMY WINEHOUSE

Song – “In My Bed”

Album – Frank (2003)

Number one reason for never dating an artist (oops, sorry for not mentioning this before): if your relationship becomes a horrid s**t show, rest assured they will write and sing about it, dazzle the world with their talent and make a hit out of your misery. Isn’t that great? Don’t you think it’s a bit unfair having someone’s mistakes exposed in a song for everyone to sing along for all eternity? I’m not taking that risk! And you shouldn’t either. Well, someone should, actually, because artists’ personal woes make up the best songs! I’m not contradicting myself; I’m just saying that someone must be the sacrificial lamb to unlock artists’ untapped talent. In Amy Winehouse’s Frank, the lamb was her ex-boyfriend. Sir, the world salutes and thanks you for your contribution to a failed relationship. At least, I do!

A good dose of Frank for my Amy Winehouse fix

I’m pretty sure that when I listened to Frank for the first time, Back to Black (2006) was already a worldwide success. Critics and fans all over the world came together to praise and worship a body of work that would catapult Amy Winehouse to a league of her own at such young age. And, let’s face it, critics and fans fully agreeing on something is a feat in itself. Better yet, a phenomenon sparingly registered. But I do agree and recognise that Back to Black is a fabulous album. However, it’s not the one I turn to when I need an Amy Winehouse fix. That would be Frank.

At this point, I know Frank intimately. I just love the music, the songs, and the lyrics pierced with crude honesty and cheekiness. ‘Can she admit to that?’, that was my reaction when I listened to “I Heard Love is Blind”, for example. Does age have anything to do with it, I wonder. I mean, talking about cheating in such a forthright and unremorseful manner. After all, Amy was just 19 when she made the album. Now that I think about it, there’s a naivety in her candidness that we tend to lose, hide or suppress the more time we spend on earth. Contrary to her, however, I felt sorry for the other person. For Amy, it’s clear it was his fault because he left her alone and she “needed to touch”. How dared he? I do admire her boldness, but it’s borderline impudent, to put it nicely. Love it!

Frank: a recipe for success

Frank is an album I would expect from a more seasoned artist. But the fact that it comes from a 19-year-old is one of its biggest strengths. Firstly, as a society, we tend to glorify young talent because we see the promise of uncharted creativity in it. For the most part, we celebrate the emergence of a unique phenomenon while developing an unconscious desire to admire, follow, mimic, and then criticise and lament our new hero’s ways the minute they go astray. We all know what happened to Amy Winehouse but let us not dwell on that subject… Secondly, Amy’s razor-sharp words enshrouded in an air of innocence, her sound knowledge of jazz and astounding singing skills produce an uncanny and powerful combination. This is the recipe for success that made a fan out of me, despite learning later on that Amy didn’t share my enthusiasm for Frank.

All in all, I love the freshness, the no-strings-attached attitude, the ruthlessness, and the emotional mayhem Frank evokes. And if there’s one song that embodies all of this is “In My Bed”.

In My Bed

Let’s get this first out of the way: the magical beat that you hear in a loop right from the beginning is a sample from Nas’ “Made You Look”. I’m not crazy about samples, but when they work, they do work. Also, since I’ve only recently found out about this information, I’m glad to say it had no impact on my opinion about “In My Bed”. Unfortunately, that happened in the past with other samples and new hits. But in this case, Nas’ loop (produced by Salaam Remi) works wonders: it infuses the lyrics with a strong dose of empowerment that Amy’s voice and attitude bring to the fore.

Coming to grips with grey areas

“In My Bed” was love at first listen. I still enjoy it today as much as I did when I played it for the first time many years ago. But something changed in the meantime. Better yet, someone: me! It’s amazing how confidently I sing the lyrics now… They gained a whole new meaning in my head. Why? Because life happened, and I’ve become more aware of the complexity of grey areas.

That being said, around a decade ago, my reaction to the concept of sleeping with an ex-boyfriend would be a judgemental sneer. Probably not that bad, but I would secretly judge you for the foolishness. An ex is an ex for a reason. Today, my stance is that people do what they have to do, and I’m not here to point fingers, as long as other people’s actions do not disturb my peace and karmic alignment.

Artists will spill the beans

Never date an artist if discretion and a restful life are all you’re looking for. Artists are not discreet because that’s antithetical to their craft. And Amy Winehouse is a fine example. To be honest, if I were a music artist, I’d put everybody on blast. The title of my first album would be I’m Coming for You (awkward silence/crickets). Well, if you’re still wondering how Amy got inspired to write “In My Bed”, then read her words below:

“The song ‘In My Bed’ actually came about after I’d had sex with an ex boyfriend. I was like ‘Now get out of my bed and take a cab home!.’ Then, when he said he had no money, I gave him a tenner and told him goodbye!”… in Blues & Soul

Who goes to someone’s house without being prepared, aka, with empty pockets? If you’re not bringing your own vehicle, you must have enough for the fare. That’s ‘casual dating – slash – survival in these streets 101 pre-Uber’. Oh, the innocence and spontaneity of the noughties…

“In My Bed”: refreshingly blunt lyrics

Although I notoriously mishear the lyrics of many songs (I don’t want to say all of them, but…) I paid close attention to what Amy Winehouse was singing in “In My Bed”. My first reaction was to turn my head, look at the radio and utter through a gaping mouth, “What did she just say?”. I must have repeated it three or four more times afterwards because I thought my brain was playing tricks on me. “She can’t possibly be this blunt”. Yes, she was! And it’s so refreshing.

So, here’s a quick summary of the content: ex-boyfriend meets up ex-girlfriend for a casual encounter; they don’t seem to see eye to eye anymore, except when they lay; to prevent any kind of misunderstanding, ex-girlfriend reminds ex-boyfriend of the exclusive physical nature of the rendezvous: it’s not a reunion. Therefore, he should not get too comfortable and assume he has a safe place in her bed. Almost poetic… and brutal! Then again, sleeping with an ex is generally a bad idea. Not judging, just saying.

I genuinely love this part of the chorus: “Yours is a familiar face/ But that don’t make your place safe/ In my bed, my bed, my bed”. Not only do I agree with the idea behind it, but I also see it as a self-care message. No one should ever assume their place is safe in another’s bed. You can work towards it, but don’t take it for granted, even if yours is a familiar face.

I feel I haven’t had the opportunity (or the nerve) yet to tell someone directly that they don’t have a safe place in my bed. I mean, using those exact words. But the urge to do it lingers in me since I listened to Amy Winehouse’s song for the first time. The lyrics are so empoweringly well-phrased that it seems a shame not to use them in real life!

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