“We Cry Together”: When Music is Powerfully Disturbing
Never date an artist because when their art imitates the dark side of life, you’ll end up confronting their demons… and your own. Kendrick Lamar’s “We Cry Together” is the musical depiction of a living hell that you may not dare listen to more than once.
Artist – KENDRICK LAMAR, TAYLOUR PAIGE
Song – “We Cry Together”
Album – Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers (2022)
Warning: This blog post contains strong language and content that might be triggering for those who have experienced an abusive relationship. Reader discretion is advised.
How does one talk about an abusive relationship from a place of comfort or emotional aloofness? It’s virtually impossible, I dare say. Not as long as our lungs need air to breathe and our hearts are wired to the soul. That’s why “We Cry Together” might be the most upsetting, disturbing and artistically daring track on Kendrick Lamar’s new album, Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers.
Does the too-real-for-comfort enactment of a ferocious row between a couple qualify as art? In this case, I’m going to say… yes. Why? Before you get to the answer below, I suggest you listen to the song first, if you haven’t already. Please be advised that the following interaction is intense and not meant to be pleasing to the ear, no matter how melodic Florence Welch’s vocals sound in the intro – the only peaceful moment you’ll hear for more than five minutes.
Have you listened to the song yet? I mean the whole song, without skipping any offence, insult, cries of resentment, accusations, curse and piercing words, and visible signs of emotional agony, extreme pettiness, and remorselessness? How did you feel afterwards? I suspect the emotional state you find yourself in by the end of the track will say a lot about yourself and your life experiences. In my case, I felt like reality, in the form of art, had run over me. I felt exhausted, emotionally shaken, and even despondent.
Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers
I was also surprised when I listened to Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers for the first time last month. Like millions of other music fans around the world, I revelled in the news that Kendrick Lamar was back with a new solo album after five years. Bear in mind that his last album was the critically acclaimed and Pulitzer-awarded DAMN. Therefore, the expectation was high and the curiosity overwhelming.
Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers is deeply personal, to the point that I envisioned Kendrick Lamar rapping from the therapist’s chair. It’s not always easy to unpack a Lamar’s album, where often lyrics must be decoded, and words carry a symbolic meaning. To put it even better, Kendrick Lamar’s music is not ‘fast’ music; it’s not a happy meal. We should digest it slowly to give time for the words to sink in and then experience the full effect of the message. His art aims to produce a reaction, sometimes visceral, sometimes intellectual. The goal is not to remain indifferent. What would that say about you if you did?
I’m not trying to ‘godify’ Kendrick Lamar and do not expect every person to like or relate to his music. But I do appreciate the talent he exudes in every word, beat, rhyme and bar.
In Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers, Lamar is on a mission: to tell us the truth about what he’s been going through in the last “one-thousand eight-hundred and fifty-five days” (five years and one month, to be precise). “I’ve been goin’ through somethin’”, he declares in the opening track, “United in Grief”. “Be afraid” is his warning before he starts rapping. I took it as a command to fasten a mental seat belt and brace for a powerfully artistic impact. The ride was pleasurable but rough until the seventh track. Then, “We Cry Together” started playing. I felt the shock.
“We Cry Together”
Agustina Bessa-Luís once wrote that we should write about what we know. This is simple and sensible advice from one of the most renowned contemporary Portuguese authors. Even so, I secretly dismissed it as boring and somewhat underwhelming at the time. What about relying on imagination alone? Isn’t it more powerful and exciting than our mundane lives?
Well, there’s nothing mundane about Kendrick Lamar’s life; that much is certain. Daddy issues, trauma, grief, complex family relations, uncontrollable lust, infidelity, cyclical violence and the challenge of personal growth are topics that Lamar extracts directly from his life experience and covers on Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers. I was just not expecting such a realistic and distressing enactment in “We Cry Together”. And I’m not the only one, as a quick trip down Twitter’s rabbit hole showed me:
“This is what the world sounds like”
Surprise, disquiet, and uneasiness invaded my spirit as soon as ominous and repetitive notes of a piano interrupted the peaceful and harmonious sample of Florence + The Machine’s “June”. You know that something sinister is about to happen, which is shortly confirmed by the explosive shouting match that is suddenly ‘unmuted’. You get the feeling of being pushed into an ongoing quarrel scene, where Kendrick Lamar and Taylour Paige try and succeed in hitting each other below the belt without much warning to the listener. There’s a clear alert at the beginning, though: “This is what the world sounds like”. In other words, art is about to imitate reality; do brace yourself.
Before getting to the ugly argument scene, a word about Taylour Paige. I confess I didn’t know who she was before listening to the track. However, I automatically assumed she was a rapper based on her brilliant performance. “We Cry Together” is actually her rap debut. Hats off to her for a great job! A few more interesting details: Taylour Paige is a classically trained dancer turned actor who won Best Female Lead for her role in Zola at the 2022 Film Independent Spirit Awards. A multitalented lady who certainly caught my attention after her blazing duet with Kendrick Lamar.
Scenes from a bitter quarrel
For the sake of pragmatism and because we don’t know the name of the characters in the song, I’m going to use the artists’ first names to identify them. Needless to say, there are no reports that Kendrick Lamar and Taylour Paige were ever involved in such a quarrel in real life. Their mission is to show what the world sounds like, remember?
It all began when… Actually, we’re not really sure when, how and why that argument started, but infidelity may have been the catalyst. I say ‘may’ because Kendrick’s unfaithfulness is one of the several misdeeds Taylour throws in his face. It might also be an old infraction that she spitefully brought up to prove a point in the context of the strife. To clarify, I’m not condoning infidelity but merely making a point about couples’ bringing up each other’s past to win an argument. In the end, nobody wins and “We Cry Together” makes no exception.
This row does not focus on one single point. But which couple’s row does? Kendrick and Taylour are at each other’s throats, vociferating the ugliest insults that are clearly fed by resentment, pain, anger, and lack of love. Can there be any love left when uncontrolled emotions bring partners to hurt each other in such a way?
“Stop tap-dancing around the conversation”
It has always baffled me how relationships can deteriorate to that point – a point of no return. Those words can never be unheard or unsaid. The pain might subside, but the damage cannot be completely repaired. If reason overruled emotion, this horrid display of anger and hurt would most likely bring the relationship to an end.
However, people often do not stay together for the most logical reasons, which the last act of this ugly fight seems to illustrate: Kendrick and Taylour end up patching up their open wounds with makeup sex. Am I wrong to suspect this is just one of their many toxic traits? No matter how mind-blowing the sex might have been, did it really solve anything? The short epilogue reveals the true intention behind that final act, and the whole song, for that matter: “Stop tap-dancing around the conversation” is the fundamental message.
Not your regular insult
The record number of swear words in “We Cry Together” makes a clean version inviable. This was one of my first thoughts when I listened to it. Out of curiosity, I searched on YouTube, and the one I found sounded just like I expected: if it weren’t for the continuous beat, I would have thought there was something wrong with my Internet connection.
Another peculiarity about “We Cry Together” is how personal insults suddenly verge into fierce criticism against burning issues such as patriarchy, feminism, harassment, and sexual abuse.
It seems as if Kendrick and Taylour are veering away from the main topic (what is it again?), but that was purposely done for artistic reasons. “This is what the world sounds like” intends to be more than a warning about the violent interaction we’re about to hear. It’s also an invitation to decipher the metaphor for the world we live in, which is not always pretty, enjoyable or happy. On the contrary, it can be brutal, cruel, insensitive, harmful, and abusive, just like the words Kendrick and Taylour hurl at each other. With the additional references of ‘Trump’, ‘Harvey Weinstein’ and ‘R. Kelly’, I realise the warning is incomplete: This is what the world sounds and looks like is more accurate.
“This is what the world sounds [and looks] like”
What a dismal image of the world! It doesn’t make it inaccurate, though. Limited, but not incorrect. The world is bound to offer different types of experiences, many of which enjoyable, exhilarating, pleasant and unforgettable. But Kendrick offers us the painful, traumatic, and unsettling experience for a reason. Our job is to pay attention and listen to the message.
“This is what the world sounds [and looks] like” let us know that Kendrick’s words mirror his vision of reality. They carry different meanings and metaphors and express a harrowing depiction of life that extends beyond those two characters. Does that mean that the world is crying together over its afflictions, tragedies, apathy, and constant signs of doom? Aren’t we all tap-dancing around the conversations we must have to ensure our personal and social survival?
We scream. We protest. We fight for causes. We get angry with those who refuse to think like us or do what’s ‘right’. We rage. We hate. We attack. We sob. We fuck. We make fragile peace. We stay and cry together in a vicious cycle of hurt, pain, and hope. Is there space left for love? I can’t see it in “We Cry Together”, but you might have a more optimistic view of relationships than I do. I hope you do. But to be on the safe side, never date an artist.
Kendrick Lamar’s “We Cry Together”: is it art?
I asked earlier if a ‘too-real-for-comfort enactment of a ferocious row between a couple qualifies as art. As I said before, any human creation that stimulates the brain to produce vivid images, unexpected emotions, and new sensations can be called art. It might not be an exhaustive definition, but it is precise nevertheless. “We Cry Together” ticks all boxes, in my opinion. Its emotional power is undeniable, and it reaches its goal brilliantly: it produces a strong effect on the listener, who might relate to that brutal interaction at a deeper level. The more they can relate to it, the more disturbing and uglier the images become.
Art invites us to appreciate beauty. But we can also find ‘beauty’ in ugliness, as long as we’re willing to learn something from it. On Never Date an Artist, we appreciate music from all angles, even if a song causes great discomfort or repulse. If the artist (whom you should never date) has a valid and substantial message, we’re here to listen to it and admire its creative expression. Art is meant to be beautiful, but it’s not always pretty. Or pleasant. Or easily digestible. It begs, however, to be absorbed, discerned, understood. Well, we may not understand it in the end, but we should try.
“We Cry Together” is definitely not easy to listen to, and I don’t expect it to become one of those songs in heavy rotation, as the charts have already shown. However, that’s not what determines its success, but what you experience while and after listening to it. I’d say the more disconcerted you feel, the more effective it has been. This is one of those cases when art imitates life frighteningly well. And you should never date an artist for this sole reason: when their art imitates the dark side of life, you might get seriously hurt. Why? Because their songs will force you to confront their demons, as well as your own. And just hope life doesn’t end up imitating their art afterwards.
Now, it’s your turn! What did you feel when you listened to Kendrick Lamar’s “We Cry Together” for the first time? Share your emotions in the comments.
Carla Vicente
Music and sun lover. I live for good weather, food, beauty, inspiration, and deciphering the complexity of human relations. Unharnessed creativity is a blessing, and I'm deeply grateful for mine. My world is made of innumerable words in different languages, with multiple figures of speech. Subtlety is an art form. Directness... a work in progress. Silence: the space where loud and creative thoughts gain shape and prosper.